Counting Down 4 More Days to Christmas And 3 More Days to A Long Awaited Break!

Sunday, December 21, 2008.

" Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream.Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,la__la.la_la.la"

Gracia's big eyes and cheeks wrinkled to form lines of almost whiskers-like dimples across her nose and cheeks. Soft curls flowing over her rosy cheeks as she rowed, moving her body to the tune.

Chuckles filled the room as we ended humming out the last sentence to Gracia, my 18 month old niece as we have forgotten the lyrics of the last sentence.

Looking at her, it helps to relax me from the past months of stress from work and everything. Songs, dance and game play with kids are some of my favourite ways of de-stressing.

" Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream.Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,Life is but a dream", mother and daughter gracefully sang and danced to the tune.

"Life is but a dream", I interrupted and asked if this was really the lyrics.

As I searched this out on the net, I'm beginning to wonder, if the real meaning of this last sentence, is the very reason why I had forgotten the lyrics.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Row,_Row,_Row_Your_Boat, it's said "The lyrics have often been used as a metaphor for life's difficult choices, and many see the boat as referring to one's self or a group with which one identifies.[1] Rowing is a skillful, if tedious, practice that takes perfection but also directs the vessel.[2] When sung as a group, the act of rowing becomes a unifier, as oars must be in sync in a rowboat. The idea that man travels along a certain stream, suggests boundaries in the path of choices and in free will.[3] The third line recommends that challenges should be greeted in stride while open to joy with a smile.[4] The final line, life is but a dream, is perhaps the most meaningful. With a religious point of view, life and the physical plane may be regarded as having equivalent value as that of a dream, such that troubles are seen in the context of a lesser reality once one has awakened.[5] Conversely, the line can just as equally convey nihilist sentiments on the meaninglessness of man's actions. The line is also commonly sung as "life is like a dream" rather than "life is but a dream", possibly to sound happier, less meaningful, and more appropriate for its audience of young children. "

I can't help but feel sad as I ponder over the meaning of this song. After all, it's supposed to be a nursery rythme.

For a long time, I've enjoyed reading and also hope that I could write really nice stories. As days get more busy, I realise I don't have such time for myself. Between the deadlines from work, and my dream, I would think that getting the tasks on hand solved would be more important. After all, what's a few more days to my dream.

However, after 8 years of work, I realise, dreams are words that are becoming more and more distant. When my mother in law passed away in year 2006, her sudden leaving reminds me of how short life can be. And, how little time one has when unexpected things happen.

Hence, I made a difficult decision to leave my comfort zone and start, doing something to fulfil my dream, and to do something that's of my passion.

Leaving the very place where I had grown so familiar with wasn't an easy feat! Getting adjusted to the new place, new environment and new culture. It's almost a 360 degree change but one I pushed myself through to get myself out of the comfort zone, hoping that I could discover myself and my dream through this process.

It has been a challenging and energy consuming 20 months and I'm still not giving up.

Do you recall days when we had to write compositions on our dreams?

During those days, when I saw Chen Liping in her Aiyoyo teacher role, I recall being teacher as my dream! Then, there were shows on police, lawyers, etc.. and those soon became my dreams. But as I grow up, I realise, I'm beginning to wonder, what exactly is my dream?

To be a business women, an entrepreneur, a teacher, or ???...

Well, I can't say I'm absolutely sure for now, but the daily goal would be to make sure, I like what I'm doing, and I enjoy what I'm doing.

For now, I'm also hoping to be a good writer. Instead of a jack of all trades, I hope to master my English and Mandarin.

I'm looking forward to my first piece of draft for a story, one that will touch the lives of many......, and a legacy that I hope to leave behind. Sounds like a really big and wishful dream. But, better than no dream and goals at all! :P

Counting the days, forty days since my last update, four more days to Christmas and three more days to...... a long awaited break! I'm really looking forward to a decent 8 hours daily rest, regular exercise, reading, a neater and more organised home and quality time to discover myself, my passion, and taking on a few more steps towards my dream.

I'm just going to prepare myself and take as many steps as I can (even if they look like really little ones). Today will be a reminder for myself, a reminder that life wouldn't be just a dream (for dreams are more often fictitious and forgotten when you wake up), and even if it really is (you really never know, unless you have return from the dead), it has to be filled with meaningful and beautiful memories with my love ones.

Alright then, to make sure that I'm going to enjoy my upcoming 11 days of break, I'm going to put in the last strength of effort to clear my work.

Here I come, my reports! =D

Cheers to myself, and to everyone else who is struggling to comprehend the real meaning of life while enjoying every moment of it.

And, cheers to my sisters, the lovely mums for giving birth to such lovely child to brighten up my days.

And, cheers to my lovely niece Ah Girl, who has been so understanding and supporting through all this time.

And, cheers to my friends, especially Carol for tolerating with my hectic schedule at work (and.. patiently sending me reminders not to be late for our gatherings... ) :P

And, extra cheers to my husband, Kelvin, for being so supporting even when I had to choose a more selfish path to fulfil my dream.